Repeat Offender

There is so much to write and talk about with Plumegate, that I don't know where to begin. But this caught my eye.

In 1992, Rove was fired as a consultant for the Bush-Quayle Texas campaign, after officials suspected that he was the source for a column by Novak and Roland Evans that portrayed the Texas presidential operation as in disarray. Rove was accused of making up the story because of a feud with the campaign's chairman, Rob Mosbacher Jr., whom the column reported, erroneously, was to be dumped.

How Did They Make "Liberal" a Bad Word?

If your workplace is safe; if your children go to school rather than being forced into labor; if you are paid a living wage, including overtime; if you enjoy a 40-hour week and you are allowed to join a union to protect your rights -- you can thank liberals. If your food is not poisoned and your water is drinkable -- you can thank liberals. If your parents are eligible for Medicare and Social Security, so they can grow old in dignity without bankrupting your family -- you can thank liberals. If our rivers are getting cleaner and our air isn't black with pollution; if our wilderness is protected and our countryside is still green -- you can thank liberals. If people of all races can share the same public facilities; if everyone has the right to vote; if couples fall in love and marry regardless of race; if we have finally begun to transcend a segregated society -- you can thank liberals. Progressive innovations like those and so many others were achieved by long, difficult struggles against entrenched power. What defined conservatism, and conservatives, was their opposition to every one of those advances. The country we know and love today was built by those victories for liberalism -- with the support of the American people.

-- Conason.

Help a Humilated Fat Kid

On the lighter side, check out one or two of these videos. Neat but kinda sad, I suppose. But here is the real point: Help a brotha out.

Via Paul's post on the Cuts the Meat message board.

Vous ne devriez pas avoir déshonoré le nom de pommes frites

Share!

The CIA Comes After The White House

Uh. Though I know better than to get too excited about these things now. On the other hand, just ask Tricky Dick what happens when you piss off the CIA.

Hate to say I told you so...

A much smarter man than me discusses.

Good news of the day

We will meet again, Big Brother.

Most Ridiculous Item of the Day

(I forgot it's "Talk Like Bill O'Reilly Day," so I edited the following post. If I try one later, it might be funnier. Shut up!)

Now listen, Americans should ignore Neal Pollack. He doesn't speak for true Americans like myself. But still, he refuses to come on this blog and speak to me. I wouldn't let him get away with traitorous diatribes like the following:

The fact is that this country is involved in a weaponless civil war, and our side must fight any way we can. We face an unelected government that has abused a legitimate threat of terrorism to engage in dangerous, unpopular and ill-considered military adventures overseas, has bankrupted our federal and state treasuries, has chiseled away at the Constitution, has allowed corporate corruption to run rampant, has...hell, you know the list. They're bastards. I'm going to fight them on this site, and I'm going to fight them with stupid rock-n-roll and beer.


Don't buy his book on Tuesday, either. Everyone knows music ended and began with the Lennon Sisters.

Er?

I hope my mother wasn't smoking a cigarette when she said that to Nathan; but, as usual, she is right. I'm going to Game 2 and (if necessary) Game 5 with a co-worker/Yankee fan, and the second thing he said to me today was, "I hope [the Twins] do go [into the ALDS] with a 15-game winning streak."

Update: Completely meaningless post-season predictions, and analysis, to come Sunday evening (assuming I can stay sober; or curb my Cyndi Lauper obsession).

The Enemy

They really are just fucking hilarious.

Downloaded the new Travis album. Yeah, yeah, don't throw your little girlie dresses at me all at once; I'm a wuss and I like it. But check out the song "Peace the Fuck Out." (At least I don't like Jeff Buckley; is there a more overrated (overrated by sensible people) artist--dead or alive--out there? Remember, Radiohead wrote "Fake Plastic Trees," not him.)

First part via Eschaton.

An Answer to "Our Prayer"

Are you a Beach Boys fan? Ever wanted a good bootleg of Smile? Here you go!

Something Changed

Secretary Colin L. Powell
Cairo, Egypt (Ittihadiya Palace)
February 24, 2001:

We should constantly be reviewing our policies, constantly be looking at those sanctions to make sure that they are directed toward that purpose. That purpose is every bit as important now as it was ten years ago when we began it. And frankly they have worked. He has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors. So in effect, our policies have strengthened the security of the neighbors of Iraq, and these are policies that we are going to keep in place, but we are always willing to review them to make sure that they are being carried out in a way that does not affect the Iraqi people but does affect the Iraqi regime's ambitions and the ability to acquire weapons of mass destruction, and we had a good conversation on this issue.

Via TAPPED.

Free Tommy Chong

Do your part here.

Kobe Attacks!!! (apologies to Nathan)

An interesing article here, printed a year-and-a-half ago, but seemingly forgotten now.

I Did Cut Her a Little Bit, Though

A co-worker told me today that she was interested in "truth" and "balance" and that's why she watches Fox News. See, they have Charlie Rangel and Alan Colmes on. Anyway, I didn't beat the living shit out of her as was my right; instead, I looked up this article, which offers a good analysis and history of The So-Called Liberal Media.

Whoa

They did it again. Booya. In case you can't read, they are calling for impeachment trials. I am proud to be a Minnesotan. And a New Yorker.

While yer at it, watch them eat their own.

The Bob Hope Seal of Approval

Listen to your favorite movies while you work.

I'll Bury Paul

Instant karma hits the sensitive lady.

Magic Number=7

Sweep. Truth: The Yankees have beaten them 472 times in a row. But they repsect them. Believe me, they do (Update: Oh yeah, I forgot: they're assholes who don't respect anyone; anyway, watch it to see Steinbrenner fire Torre and Cashman and turn the Yankees into the Mets). Yankees fans are scared as it is, no matter who they play. After what happened last year, they are abused pussycats.

Keep the good times rollin'

Pixelicious disco biscuts (Cntrl click (mac) left click (pc) and download)

Good Times

Drugs.

Cabal: "A conspiratorial group of plotters or intriguers"

I may be getting obsessed (thanks, Smokestack), but here are more of examples, with commentary, of how the right will attack Clark. Both via TAPPED.

And here is a lovely editorial cartoon. Via TBOGG.

10 a.m. EST and already...

W. has admitted he lied to congress about reasons for going to war with Iraq.

Saudi Arabia thinks it's probably a good idea to go nuclear.

Go, Twins! (No, not you Jenna and Barbara...) Update: There's a bit of hubris here, but a great dressing down of the White Sox's douchebaggery.

In the "been there, done that" category

Just another step on the road to "Now I've seen everything."

Please let me clarify

Our resident Warmonger has a little something to get off his chest. Everyone gather around and listen.

How They Will Attack Clark (Ongoing)

The Wingnut's Guide to Wesley Clark. You see, he's a "Jewish/Russian-speaking/moved-from-Illinois-like-Hillary/fellow-traveling-Rhodes-Scholar-like-Clinton/Christian-compound-assaulting/fire-abortionist"

Update: More. And Scoobie Davis has even more.

Update again: And check this out.

And... more, more...

More Clark

Clark Info

Some stuff on Clark here and something a little older here. Sorry, ladeez, he's taken.

The Mighty Strib

The "hometown" paper tears Cheney a new one.

That's My Bush!

Found on Michael Moore's site, via Tom Tomorrow:

The following is an interview with the First Couple from the current issue of one of my favorite magazines, Ladies Home Journal (Oct. '03). They are asked about what September 11, 2001, was like for them personally, and, although over 3,000 people had just perished, George W. was able to find some humor by the end of that day:

Peggy Noonan (the interviewer): You were separated on September 11th. What was it like when you saw each other again?

Laura Bush: Well, we just hugged. I think there was a certain amount of security in being with each other than being apart.

George W. Bush: But the day ended on a relatively humorous note. The agents said, "you'll be sleeping downstairs. Washington's still a dangerous place." And I said no, I can't sleep down there, the bed didn't look comfortable. I was really tired, Laura was tired, we like our own bed. We like our own routine. You know, kind of a nester. I knew I had to deal with the issue the next day and provide strength and comfort to the country, and so I needed rest in order to be mentally prepared. So I told the agent we're going upstairs, and he reluctantly said okay. Laura wears contacts, and she was sound asleep. Barney was there. And the agent comes running up and says, "We're under attack. We need you downstairs," and so there we go. I'm in my running shorts and my T-shirt, and I'm barefooted. Got the dog in one hand, Laura had a cat, I'm holding Laura --

Laura Bush: I don't have my contacts in , and I'm in my fuzzy house slippers --

George W. Bush: And this guy's out of breath, and we're heading straight down to the basement because there's an incoming unidentified airplane, which is coming toward the White House. Then the guy says it's a friendly airplane. And we hustle all the way back up stairs and go to bed.

Mrs. Bush: [LAUGHS] And we just lay there thinking about the way we must have looked.

Peggy Noonan (interviewer): So the day starts in tragedy and ends in Marx Brothers.

George W. Bush: THAT'S RIGHT-- WE GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT!

Why We Fight

Semi-poly-panda-annual Heather Graham photo of the week.

Getting There...

Bigger battles lie ahead, but some good news slips through.

A Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy

Whining from the front of the aborted (for now) recall. They should just get over it.

"This is the stuff of a banana republic!" No shit, sherlock. Welcome to Chuck Barris's America.

Uncomfortable feelings of Arousal and Power.

The Meat Show. Paintings about Children, God and USDA Grade A Beef was by far his best series. But Mark Ryden, rarely seen NYC, has a new show coming to town. The slightly more gothic but still sweet, Blood.

Tango and Cash

Two of the world's top leaders are going to have to work together to clear their names...
Even if it kills them.

Tariq-Aziz Amanpour

This has been all over the place today, but in case you missed it:

Excerpt: Fox News spokeswoman Irena Briganti said of Amanpour's comments: "Given the choice, it's better to be viewed as a foot soldier for Bush than a spokeswoman for al-Qaeda."

Plus, Media Whores is all over L. Jean Lewis.

Stuart Smalley's gettin' me all riled up

So, I've been reading the new Al Franken book. While most of it is nothing new to any of us who can outwit a farm animal, it's decent enough chicken soup for the liberal soul.
One crumb of info has stuck with me more than the expected bashing of the right (what??? Sean Hannity's an asshole???) which is that Jesus was a socialist. The socialists' motto is even a direct quote from Acts (apparently some book in the Bible). You know, it's that whole take from the rich and spread it around to the poor thing. So, it strikes me as a bit odd that the (religious) right can be, say, for saving blobs with eyes from a vacuum while also endlessly proposing and/or voting for tax cuts for the rich (see the latest vote in Alabama--the Guv was right that Jesus would want to rejigger their taxes).
Which reminds me, didn't a certain someone say that Jesus was his favorite philosopher, even though he apparently missed the entire socialist facet of that philosophy?
I suppose my points will be better expressed when I figure out how to make links. Good times.

You Can't Arrest Me, You're a Hooker

You lookin' for an ass to kick? Being a good Christian, I often look to Mr. Show for guidance. I just bought their disowned, much-maligned movie, Run Ronnie Run, and it might be the funniest fucking movie I have ever seen. Take that, Wet Hot American Summer!

Putting stars in my pocket.

I wish there was someway Amerikans could guarantee themselves a place in heaven. Next floor, God's right hand.

Tooting My Own Horn

For the second time in four weeks, there is a mistake in the NYT Saturday crossword. Not as bad as the first one, but I would argue...

I am not crazy

Proof.

(addenda: you have no skills. or ability. see you in hell.)

Transdermal Celebration

I wasn't happy when they decided to let Rush on ESPN. But it is rewarding to watch him get schooled in a debate by Michael Irvin. Every time.

I understand.

My Greatest Fear

Jeb in '12!

(Update: I wrote that drunk; soberesque, I realize we have nothing to worry about. There won't be free elections in 9 years. By the way, I am listening to Supertramp right now and I fucking love it.)

Dodgy Speaks

i would like to take this moment to welcome
"nathan"
to the fold.
i hope he continues to be insightful
and improve upon on his prolificacy.

And I also hope that Bob Hope has something hopelessly fucked up to say...

get it? fulcrums and shit

look above
it's a sky the color of dead mice
and the pen is the tongue of the mind (cervantes)
and a pitch (is a slope)
and a level's a hammer
either way.

Collective Dreamwish of Upperclass Elegance

The great Paul Krugman writes today about what we have to look forward to over the next year. (Tonight, he's also on Real Time with Bill Maher, an intermittenly frustrating and satisfying HBO show.)

At Long Last, Sir, etc.

Ann Coulter is best ignored, I suppose. She has been widely discredited, and reasonable people on her end of the politcal spectrum tend to distance themselves from her. But now she may have gone too far, and everyone should know.

A Party for the Disenfranchised

I think we can all get behind these guys.

(Thanks to Big Daddy Hotcakes.)

Booya

Seems that Clark is in. I have mixed emotions about this; will he be able to put together a good team with all the best people already working for other campaigns? Can he succeed after being banned from Lou Dobbs? But seriously, I see him as the ideal VP, and I hope that's how it happens. Kerry/Clark, or even Dean/Clark could eat the smirking chimp for breakfast.

I Won't Let This Happen to My Children

Thom Yorke wrote an op-ed piece for the Guardian earlier this week. WTO is a subject upon which I am largely ignorant of the details, and this is an informative piece.

Incredibly Stupid Op-Ed Piece of the Day

The NY Post shouldn't count, but this is too bad to pass up. Perhaps it's more irresponsible than stupid. The man is appropraitely named. He looks like he smells funny, too.

One of the Good Guys

Aw, Dodgy why you getting so sentimental? Because mortality is knocking on my door.

Wrapped Up in Tarnished Flags

Lyrics to "The Piccolo Snare." Written by Super Furry Animals.

Have you ever seen the sun
Rising high to the sound of a gun?
Blue and white and yellow sun
Capturing imagination
We went down to the piccolo drum
Never made it into the hum
Down to the piccolo
Down to the piccolo
Down to the piccolo snare

Have you ever seen the sea
Painted red by a bleeding army?
Sky hawks gather for a feast
Of pawns who will never find peace
Tumbledown to the piccolo snare
Never made it into the square
Down to the piccolo
Down to the piccolo
No one particular cared

Dreaming, dreaming, dreaming

Now! We can go home again
To our old haunts again
Together
Now scatter us all around
Far from the bugle sound
Surrender
Safe in the exclusion zone
Catch me and take me home
As brother fights brother
Wrapped up in tarnished flags
Banners and body bags
Surrender!
The power!
Phantom!
Dreaming, dreaming, dreaming!

My Favorite Song Right Now Is "The Piccolo Snare," or "Untitled No. 4" from ()

They have no taste. Has Gephardt even listened to the lyrics? And, sorry to say, you don't get any gayer than "Imagine." Anywho, the following is completely stolen from Media Whores Online:

The candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination were asked to name their favorite songs in Tuesday night's debate:

John Kerry:  No Surrender
Dick Gephardt:  Born in the USA
Al Sharpton:  Talking Loud, Saying Nothing
Howard Dean:  Jaspora
Joe Lieberman:  My Way
Carolyn Mosley-Braun:  You Gotta Be
Dennis Kucinich:  Imagine
Bob Graham:  Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes
John Edwards:  Small Town


We'll venture a guess about Boy Emperor's favorite...


George W. Bush, designated
"our young Warrior King" by
MSNBC's Chris Matthews

Warrior King
Lou Reed

I wish I was the warrior king
in every language that I speak
Lord over all that I survey - and all I see I keep
Power omnipresent, undiminished, uncontrolled
with a massive violent fury at the center of my soul

I wish I was a warrior king
inscrutable benign
With a faceless charging power
always at my command

Footsteps so heavy the world shakes
My rage instilling fear
Yet cautious firm but fair and good
The perfect Warrior King

I wish I installed angels in every subject's house
Agents of my goodness no one would be without
A steak on every plate, a car for every house
And if you every crossed me
I'd have your eyes put out

You don't exist without me
Without me you don't exist
And if logic won't convince you
then there's always this:

I'm bigger, smarter, stronger, tough
yet sensitive and kind
And though I could crush you like a bug
it would never cross my mind

It wouldn't cross my mind to break your neck
or rip out your vicious tongue
It wouldn't cross my mind
to snap your leg like a twig
or squash you like some slug

You are a violent messenger
and I'm not above your taunts
And if you hit me you know I'll kill you
because I'm the Warrior King

we ride tonight...

In honor of 9/11, I offer this:

george walker bush
is an anagram for
beer keg lush. go war!


(in fairness, an anagram for "colin michael carlson" is "man in alcoholic circles." go figure. in seriousness, let's find a way so that no one else dies because of this man and his cronies. us and our army.)

...the duchess of kircaldy always smiling and arriving late for tea...

Someone please buy me this. I blew all my money on a lady. Or at least show it to me. And buy yourself this. And we can cry together, like gentlemen. Or like a gentleman and a lady. Cry baby, cry.

Fuck School!

Well, my weekend is officially blown. And felched. "Untie the hands of..." bwa hahahahaha. Is this guy great, or what? Mister, would you please help my pony? I may hungover, but I'm not retarded. Anyway, after a night of serious drinking and putting offensive things on fantasy football message boards, I am ready for a nap. Viva Santana! (Johan, not Carlos. Fucking sell-out.)

I Suppose It Was Too Much To Ask For An Elephant

Extra! Extra! Strokes put incredibly boring new song from new album online!

Whoa, Part II, Part II

The best news of the day and I fuck up the link? Unbelievable, right?

First he farts, then he decides to get his old band back together.

Oh! The Places I Go!

Bloggin' may be light over the next couple days, as I will be serving as Dick Cheney's escort tomorrow for the 9/11 memorial stuff (Lynne will be doing some research at an upstate women's prison for her upcoming novel; I'll be the dude in the nifty "Mission Super Accomplished" t-shirt) and then I am off to Bennifer's wedding for the weekend. What do you get the couple that has everything? The only thing better than everything: The Blue Unicorn!.

Otherwise, read this if you're not feeling sufficiently patriotic.

Whoa, Part II

First he farts, then he decides to get his old band back together.

Whoa

God farts.

Stupid Column of the Day

Here's the dumbest opinion piece I read today.

It Certainly Was No "Triumph of the Will"...

Ironic how she dies one day after Showtime airs Superbush. Perhaps the sheer incompetence of it offended her sensibilties.

The Dregs of Society

Something tells me that god hates them.

Superbush: The Movie

I watched a bit of the 9/11 movie last night. More edible than the speech. (Obviously pre-taped; sadly, that was the best shot they got.) Here is a good rundown of the movie. (Click the day pass, send a letter to your congressperson, deal with it.)

Mea Culpa

You may have noticed that bloooggging has been pretty light lately. Well, I sincerely apologize...no, wait, get back here, let me explain. Why you always gotta be this way? Listen to me!

August was a very busy month for me. I spent the first two weeks touring Iraq with an USO Show, featuring yours truly, Jenna Jameson, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

Oh for god's sake, I didn't even touch her! Didn't we watch her "E! True Hollywood Story" together? She's a married woman! Plus, have you seen the guys in those movies? I mean, honey, you know me: half donkey, hung like a honky. You're just being crazy now. All she wanted to talk about was how Dave Fridmann got that drum sound on The Soft Bulletin .

As you probably have figured out already, the trip was pretty difficult for me. My contempt for both the military and non-whites made the whole thing pretty dicey, I must admit. However, I bit my tongue, staged dramatic readings of Christopher Hitchens' neo-conservative writings, and discussed the American delusion of meritocracy with Triumph. It was also a great opportunity for me to hone my condescension skills. It was great!

After my journey into W's personal sewer, I flew to Hollywood to meet with Mel Gibson, to discuss my script for CopDonkey: The Childrens Series. He immediately offered me a chair, a cigar, a poke at his wife, and this bit of wisdom: "The Jews killed Jesus you know. My daddy said so."

"Uh, I thought he were going to talk about my script..."

"Well, I just thought you'd want to know."

"But, wasn't Jesus dying the point? Can I blame Catholics for the Holo-" I didn't have a chance to say "Jesus was a Jew" before he could kick me out and blacklist me. Needless to say, I'm still shopping the series.

Anyhoo, that's a little of what I've been up to. How about you? How's your body? More insight to come!

(Note: If you misspell "anti-Semitic" in Google you get right-wing defenses of the film. You spell it correctly, you get reasoned analysis. I report, you decide.)

Looking Forward to that Michael Moore Movie...

In case you missed it.

Let Us Never Forget

this.

Let the Party Begin!

Check out the 2000 official Texas Republican platform! It's no Guns and Dope Party, but it's pretty cool!