Summer of Full Release

I almost forgot -- happy summer, dickheads!

scatterbrain

Nathan's band's first EP is online here. I have only bathed with one of the band members, at least that I can recall.

No Moms. No Dads. No Geneva Conventions. No Shit.

...early screeners suggest a cross between Pee-Wee's Playhouse and Dancer In the Dark...

Unreal

More proof, if needed, that the Supreme Court is a partisan outfit not interested in upholding the consitituion but rather its ideological brethren.

I've Passed My Sell-By Date

Reasons why I believe my usefulness may have expired:

1. I spent a better part of the afternoon honestly convinced that I had the goods to topple the evil corporate Ticketmaster. You see, Lollapalooza got cancelled 2 days ago; I purchased 2 tickets for it a few weeks ago. I paid cash at a "Ticketmaster Outlet" (yes, I manage my finances like a drug dealer). I went to said "Ticketmaster Outlet" (actually the NBA Store, one of the most useless places I have ever been; those thowback jerseys only look good on slutty nuns and Your Everyday Average Gay Man ca. 1975) to get my money back today. They said, no, the event "isn't officially cancelled yet." Fine, they need a few days to sort out their shit before handing out my money -- money they've already spent on cattle prods and eight-balls. I can handle that. But, they're also still selling tickets to it online. See, if an event gets cancelled, you do get all your money back -- except for some random Ticketmaster charges. They can have my 10 bucks or whatever, but what about the people buying their tickets today? Anyway, I've calmed down and decided "to Hell with them." People buying tickets today, I mean.

2. Today I played Texas Hold 'Em. On the infernet. For no money.

3. I am willfully listening to Wilco. On headphones. In my home.

Dumb Shitz

Only two days left until the summer movie to beat all summer movies comes out: White Chicks!!! If you hate black people but love minstrel shows, save me a seat near the front!

Pulling My Ribs Apart

Why do I have a blog?, I oftentimes wonder. I don't like writing (or, really, talking all that much) about politics, because people are so very, very stupid and I'm only negligibly smarter. I've stopped believing that anyone has an opinion anyway; they just have certain amounts of... let's call it something girly like, "Love" and "Hate" that they mete out. Why we mete out love for this or hate for that is probably a result of our upbringing or, in some cases, a frazzled contrarian countenance.

I guess I like to write funny little stories (like the grandiose, beloved epic that was Dodgy Goodtimes' presidential run -- still ongoing, I believe) but my humormuse can be quite tempermental. I'm sure inspiration will strike again and I will have a reason to own this webspace.

I've also never been one of those types to "share things of a personal nature with other human beings." I'm a firm believer that no one deserves to know anything, and -- now that I don't drink -- things rarely slip out accidentally.

But I will make an exception today, since I have no other real reason to keep this blog, and share something personal, something about my aforementioned drinklessness. In the five months since I stopped, I haven't enjoyed the nice, solid shits that come with more stable innards. And I mean "enjoyed" as in "taken pleasure from," not "had." I do have them, even more now the last few weeks as I've honed my, as the Germans like to call it, Dietrepairen. But I don't think I'll ever really enjoy shitting the way some people do. Now, don't think I want to wear a diaper or suffer incontinence. I guess you could just say that I can't wait to EVOLVE some more! If not the nuclear bomb, God, how about a shitless society? Right back at ya, slick.

Love always,
Sir D of G

It's a Joke

I tend to think that the President isn't really that retarded, it's really America that's stupid. So he's a perfect leader. But maybe he is really what's the word...

...Well, it's not as much about stupidity as it is about how it's all set up. It's all a lie. A small number of corporations run the world. Innocent people were dying every day before 9/11. Elections were fake long before November 2000. Fuck you, assholes. Shove your money up your ass. Enjoy sucking off Jesus Christ, rapists, Clay Aiken, Ronald Reagan.

...sorry...i hate the summer so very very much... i hate that song "my band" so very very much... both trapppped in my brokkkkkken...

Moving Backwards

God and politics, back in the day.

Every religion, over time, gets the unfettered opportunity to slaughter people who don't agree with them. I patiently await the atheists' turn. Run! Christian, Run!

Bush Channels Reagan

Success!

Yes It Is

Indeed,

"If you have a dream, any dream, you are sometimes going to sound like a visionary, which is to say, like a fucking nut. I know I do; but I am surrounded by a warm and loving community that enables my ravings with praise, as others might throw dollars into a cockfighting pit, and this makes things a little easier."

Bam Thwok

New Pixies tune. Bam Thwok!

Blogging Is for Wannabe Starfuckers and Nerds

And since I require neither a job at Entertainment Weekly nor something nerdy, I have been remiss. But this is funny.

Food for Thought

Just how dependent are Republicans on the uneducated, religious white vote?