Git in the Kitchen, You Saggy Old Bag o' Tits

Chris Matthews is rapidly becoming my least favorite person on TV that I have to pay any attention to.

Six foot girl gonna
Sweat when she dig
Stand close to the fire
When they light the pig
Standing in her chinos shirt pulled off clean
Gotta tattooed tit say number 13

Irony

Hey Minnesotans (Blue State)! North Dakotans (Red State) are stealing from you! (Sort of.)

Via Atrios.

Kicked in the Taco

Good Krugman today.

Plus, some free psychoanalysis for all you bearded folk.

9/11 Changed Everything...

which would be Their argument. . .which also means that the terrorists won.
And doesn't this make you sick?

I'm on my mobile and I'm talking to the president
I got to get him for the money I've spent
Trying to get him to party with me
And even offered him ecstasy

A Reason for Dodgy to Lay Off Dean

Apparently, He Even Misused a Big Word in His First Show

My god, this new Dennis Miller show is irritating. And not just because he's evolved into an annoying shill. . .it's just an awful headache. He even makes a random monkey seem unfunny. (OK, maybe it is fun to watch Naomi Wolf wipe the floor with Dennis and Horowitz; but fun enough to offset watching Dennis tickle Guiliani?)

Wheels off Chassis

Unslept-on rant: What the fuck did the Howard Dean camp do? They blew all the money? They can't pay their employees? The "future king of campaign management" is fired? The "I Have a Scream" speech was media-manipulated bullshit, but this is not. I feel stupid, and I hate feeling stupid more than anything.
This is what you get for idealism.

News and Notes

The Next Big Thing?
Free Super Furry bootleg here.

Eddie Baby

I haven't formed many thoughts about the John Edwards campaign. To be honest, my first instinct is to be repulsed by it. I mean, we're talking about a guy (considered by some to be "the biggest douche in the universe") who seemingly takes advantage of people who have suffered great losses in their life for his own financial gain. I mean, we all want to believe in an afterlife, where we can be reunited with our loved ones and pets. We want to believe that there are two great "unseens" bookending this "seen," and that people in the heavens can see us in a way they never saw us before they passed -- but is it not incorrigible that this man is really nothing more than a gifted "cold reader" who appropriates genuine, heartfelt memories and distorts them forever in order to entertain a national television audience? I think not. That is a terrible thing for someone to do. Hey, am I supposed to believe that if he's elected president that he'll channel Jefferson, Franklin, Lincoln, etc., to get their opinions on policy decisions? I am sorry, but whatever is offered after we scuttle off this mortal coil is beyond our comprehension. And why would Thomas Jefferson want to talk to a guy with such a gay haircut? Do not be deceived by this charlatan, my friends.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that I have John Edwards confused with John Edward. My bad. Shit, I didn't realize that North Carolina was even allowed to have senators. Anyone hear about this guy before? I am intrigued!

The World is Full of Crashing Bores

Hola, amigos. Sorry it's been so long since I rapped at ya, or whatever. I've been busy dying... now it's time to get busy living! Like the James Brown song!

I had nothing figured out regarding the Iowa caucus. But I find that heartening in way... perhaps I am dumb and ill-informed enough to be a TV talking head. Anyway, don't count Dean out yet, because no one--nope, not even Heinz presents a Skull and Bones production of John Kerry--has his money. But I agree: He had no right to yell (regardless of how non-angrily he yelled) after the Iowa debacle! What a dick! (Hey! Let's change the word "dick" to "dean"! Like, as in, "Wow, Joe Lieberman, you are almost as big a deanhead as that dean-scratcher Bush!" And let's change "douche" to "Bush"!) One more thing on Howard the Dick -- I mean, Dean: Is his wife a lezbo or what?!?!?!? I bet she has vibrators, too!

Does Wesley Clark wish he had taken part in the Iowa caucusi? Does a Ronald Reagan shit in the bed? Actually, no, Clark probably knows what he's doing. Someone else said he is learning to campaign while away from some media glare and learning quickly and well. Just goes to show you what kind of Rhodes Scholar/first-in-his-class-at-West Point asshole would run for president. He does have the edge, I believe, because he is the only candidate without a lezbo wife. (I mean, they're taking over! That State of the Union speech couldn't come soon enough for this pundit!) Plus, Chicks Dig Clark! (I know this for a FACT.) I tell you, my friends, the real pussy is at a Clark rally, especially if you are as hungry for some "Mrs. Robinson action" as I am.

Don't worry, Johnny "Crack" Edwards, you'll be getting a piece of my mind soon enough!

Well, I am sure I will have more informed opinions for you soon, assuming you remember this place even existed. And since we're a blog, here are some fun links! Enjoy!

Cho drops knowledge.
Who is writing editorials for the Detroit News?
By jingo! Buy America!

Hilarity Ensues

The text for this ad has been floating around, but it doesn't do justice to how funny the ad is.

Click here, scroll down a bit (it's the second thing, under the big MOVE RIGHT sign), look for the Real Americans, click, and watch it.

And here is some context. (Salon, so you have to watch a commercial, yadda yadda yadda, to read the whole thing. Painless.)

Sharks, Child Abductions, Dean

The media markets the candidate.

...plus, for comedic value, this missive from someone who masturbates to photos of Ronald Reagan's cowboy boots.

2003

I'm working on a year-end thing for a friend's music website, so I thought i would get my homiosity on and list my favorite songs (not singles) from 2003. Indulge me. One song per artist, hence it is not filled with Think Tank, Quebec and Phantom Power tunes.

12. "Little Animal" The Raveonettes
11. "Stay Loose" Belle and Sebastian
10. "The Golden Path" The Chemical Brothers feat. the Flaming Lips
09. "There’s No Home for You Here" White Stripes
08. "What Ever Happened?" The Strokes
07. "I’m On Standby" Grandaddy
06. "Hey Ya" Outkast
05. "Happy Colored Marbles" Ween
04. "There There" Radiohead
03. "Out of Time" Blur
02. "The Piccolo Snare" Super Furry Animals
01. "Maps" Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Fuck the Pixies Reunion

Is this the best music news ever? Probably not, but it got me blogging again.