Dodgy's ladeez volume one...

A new Dodgy Goodtimes Friday feature. And we're starting with a bang. Here's some more Monica for the perverts.

More Dodgy masturbation...

I am so eclectic and interesting...

...well, perhaps not at work.

I made the break-thru (!!!) and took the iPod/iTunes challenge!

workVersion 1.0:
"Everything Is Sorrow" The Boo Radleys
"Kella Village" Mali Music
"Waiting for the Bus" Violent Femmes
"Jabberjaw" Phantom Planet
"Beautiful Ones" Suede
"The Crystal Lake (live - black session)" Grandaddy
"The Dark Center of the Universe" Modest Mouse
"On Your Own (live at Peel Acres)" Blur
"The Blair Bush Project Live @ the Old Skool" Brave Captain
"3 Way Accumulator" Relaxed Muscle
"Do You Realize??" The Flaming Lips
"Who" Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
"Sing for Absolution" Muse
"How Can You Be Sure" Radiohead
"Seven Nation Army/Moving to Florida (live)" The Flaming Lips
"Magic America" Blur
"Steady Diet" Fugazi
"A Big Day in the North" Black Grape
"The Strange Design of Conscience" The Flaming Lips
"Memory of a Free Festival" David Bowie

Maybe Mel is right...

...there is a god. And she is a Magdalene.

kiss me now that i'm older

alright. it's finally come to this.
the war has begun.

we cannot have our radio.
we cannot have a world in which monogamous homosexuals marry.
we can have the passion... but we cannot have the last temptation...
we cannot have a black tit on tv without causing an international incident. against the woman. attacked by a white man in a simulated/violent matter. whatever. i don't care, just pointing out the irony.
we cannot have a president who speaks to us as though we are adults.
we cannot disagree.

these hateful "christians" want all of us dead. they want the jews in israel so they can die. they are bigots and they must be stopped. these people may be your friends, colleagues, parents, children. beware.

i don't know what to do. mel gibson's head on a platter. matt drudge's laptop on spikes. violent anal sex forced on the president. the eighties are ! back ! cogratulations to the civil disobedients in SF for what they are doing. what can i do? what can you do?

Hell Freezes Over

I am quoting Andrew Sullivan:

The president launched a war today against the civil rights of gay citizens and their families. And just as importantly, he launched a war to defile the most sacred document in the land. Rather than allow the contentious and difficult issue of equal marriage rights to be fought over in the states, rather than let politics and the law take their course, rather than keep the Constitution out of the culture wars, this president wants to drag the very founding document into his re-election campaign. He is proposing to remove civil rights from one group of American citizens - and do so in the Constitution itself. The message could not be plainer: these citizens do not fully belong in America. Their relationships must be stigmatized in the very Constitution itself. The document that should be uniting the country will now be used to divide it, to single out a group of people for discrimination itself, and to do so for narrow electoral purposes. Not since the horrifying legacy of Constitutional racial discrimination in this country has such a goal been even thought of, let alone pursued. Those of us who supported this president in 2000, who have backed him whole-heartedly during the war, who have endured scorn from our peers as a result, who trusted that this president was indeed a uniter rather than a divider, now know the truth.

Free iTunes Music

Pepsi gives away free songs on iTunes. I haven't gotten one yet (I am a Diet Coke man), but soon I will.


Source.

A Simple Plan

Can Edwards take New York?

Mommy, What's a Gagortion?

The difference between this and this? Flynt has credibility.

The GOP/Drudge School of Journalism

In his early days, Lyndon Johnson is supposed to have directed his campaign manager to call an opposing candidate a "pigfucker." "But Lyndon," said the campaign manager. "That ain't true." "Ah know, and you know," said the candidate, "But we'll make the sonofabitch deny it."

Calpundit

If The Bush AWOL story really gives you a stiff one (or a wet spot), head over here; the guy has it all.

Oh, the AWOL Thing Is Sooooo Disco...

The White House has yet to produce anyone who remembers seeing The Bush in Alabama, but someone found two guys who are pretty sure they didn't see him.

I Thought Kerry Was a Homo

You gotta love The Drudge! Report. "World Exclusive. Must Credit Drudge Report." You know where Drudge gets his stories? He steals them from real journalists before they are fact-checked and corraborated. This is even eluded to in his "world exclusive" story. I just think it's funny. Oh, and by the way, Bush once personally performed an abortion on one of my cousins. ...developing erectally...

CLARIFICATION: Drudge also gets his stories from the RNC and Free Republic message boards.

The Disappeared

Sometimes it seems like the deepest fears are the truest. People love to invoke 9/11, but they don't want to deal with what really happened. And why won't people let the victims' families speak in an uninterupted forum? Are we supposed to pretend they don't exist? This is an article everyone should read.

Mr. Bush was notified 14 minutes after the first attack, at 9 a.m., when he arrived at an elementary school in Sarasota, Fla. He went into a private room and spoke by phone with his national security advisor, Condoleezza Rice, and glanced at a TV in the room. Mrs. Homer’s soft voice curdles when she describes his reaction: "I can’t get over what Bush said when he was called about the first plane hitting the tower: ‘That’s some bad pilot.’ Why did people on the street assume right away it was a terrorist hijacking, but our President didn’t know? Why did it take so long to ground all civilian aircraft? In the time between when my husband’s plane took off [at 8:41 a.m.] and when the second plane hit in New York [9:02 a.m.], they could have turned back to airfield."

Flippant prick.

Gay Marriage

Though it has gotten increasingly weak and unfunny, The Onion has a good WDYT this week.

Boy, Kerry's Fucked Now

This is just comical. As many others have already stated, he's three or so rows away from Jane, this is a year before she went to Hanoi, and Kerry was fucking right about Vietnam. How stupid is America? We'll see.

UPDATE: Isn't that a time-traveling Jason Lee over Jane's left shoulder?

It's All Falling Apart...

First Andy, then Peggy, now Billy. Maybe they're less shill-ish than we give them credit for.

Cure Worse than the Disease?

A good point about the disconnect between understanding terrorism as a means or as an end.

Freed Neal

Pollack comes out of his cocoon to ironically blog the fucking Grammys.
Reference points: here and here. Warning: may justifiably make you want to kill a hipster.

UPDATE: Here's a new interview.

Sir, Can You Recite the Alphabet Backwards for Me?

Questions for donuts. Or something. Leave me alone.

Are You Giving In, 2000 Man?

The Boston Globe continues its research into W's "lost year".

In a 1999 interview with a military publication, Bush said that among the values he learned as a pilot included "the responsibility to show up and do your job."

They're harder on him here.

Funky Days Are Back Again?

A little Twins aside here. I'm maintaining low-ish expectations for this year (though they should still be in the thick of it), but this Mauer kid sounds like the shit.

To find a perfect comparison for Joe Mauer's upside, you need to find a Gold Glove catcher who competes for batting titles every year, possesses impressive power and controls the strike zone incredibly well. In other words, you need to find the perfect catcher.

Here Comes Your Band

The official press release.

Those to Come

I dig Alterman's ideas for a shadow cabinet:

Secretary of State: Wesley Clark or Anthony Zinni, if Clark is on the ticket.
Adviser for National Security: Anthony Zinni if he’s not Secretary of State
Secretary of Defense: Max Cleland
Chairman of the Federal Reserve: Joseph Stiglitz
Director of the CIA: Joseph Wilson
Secretary of the Treasury: Laura Tyson
Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers: Paul Krugman
Attorney General: Elliot Spitzer
Secretary of the Interior: Gary Hart
UN Representative: John Lewis
Ambassador to Niger: Paul Wolfowitz
Ambassador to Mars, George W. Bush
Ambassador to Venus, Ralph Nader.
Chairman of the Democratic Party: Howard Dean

It Could've Been a Brilliant Career

Doonesbury's Kerry strips from 1971.

We're In Yr Corner

A good rundown of delegates that have been awarded, what's left, the near-future of the primaries, blah blah blah.

Things I Learned from Last Night's Primary

1. Edwards' victory speech in South Carolina was one of the great speeches of all time. It had people tearing up. Well, so I hear; I missed it.
2. Douchebag of the Universe Mark II Chris Matthews likes to say "Missourah." Chris Matthews is from Philadelphia.
3. John Kerry's grasp of the English language, and grammatical skills, will be a hinderance to him in the election, according to Tucker Carlson, who also believes that any questions about Bush's military record are "a low blow."
4. Bush has spent as much money on his uncontested primary as Howard Dean has on the Democratic primary. And, I believe, Dean spent too much.

AWOL

Finally, some reporters are doing their jobs, not demanding that Democratic candidates do it for them. Is this Bush's best alibi?

Bartlett also provided a news clipping from 2000 quoting friends of Bush's from the Alabama Senate campaign saying they recalled Bush leaving for Guard duty on occasion.

Nasty

Here's the fun you may have missed at the Super Bowl.

A good point:

Violence, violence, violence, aggression, coach mouthing obscenity, beer commercial, cheerleader, cheerleader, beer commercial, violence, aggression, commercial with horse igniting woman with its fart, violence, cheerleader, beer commercial, DIRTY FILTHY TITTY MY GOD WHO WILL THINK OF THE CHILDREN, violence, aggression, beer commercial.

Dodgy's scorecard:
Donkeys: 1
Monkeys: 2
Horse farts: 1
Man bitten in nuts by dog: 1
Female nipples: 1
Only reason to feign interest: Why should Carolina fans get a Super Bowl championship before me anyway?