dear friends, family, and colleagues:

please do not allow me to be kept alive by machines if i am in a persistent vegetative state, regardless of how funny it may be. ok, if it's really funny, you can do it for a little while. and, ok, if you think some congressman might say,

"He is still one of us and this cannot stand. Dodgy Goodtimes has survived his passion weekend and he has not been forsaken."

you can keep me alive a little longer, if it'll spice up the eulogy. just make sure you donate my body to necrophiliacs local 151 afterwards.