As He Lay Dying...

Dodgy Goodtimes remains in a coma following last week's assassination attempt. He is receiving the best care that Thailand has to offer, and we are hopeful for a full and speedy recovery. Contrary to recent Drudge Reports, we have no intentions of pulling out of the race -- or Scarlett Johansson -- at this time.

Unfortunately, Dodgy's ho wife has left him in light of today's homo marriages in Massachussets. Here is a picture of Dodgy and his ho wife in happier times.