Greetings from Port-au-Prince!!

We here at the Life Myopic have stumbled upon something really big... a web exclusive, if you will. A Friend of Dodgy, Martin Izaakson (name has been changed to protect the innocent), was recently married and left for his honeymoon a little over a week ago. Well, history must be on his side, because he ended up in Haiti instead of Portugal! What luck! Here's what he has to say:

hey dodgy,

the honeymoon is great so far! short story long, we accidentally got on a flight to haiti instead of portugal. straight out of the airport, we got swept up in some crazy kind of revolution. we marched down the street with all of these shirtless black guys carrying machetes and bongo drums (kind of like the gay pride parade in the village). anyway, apparently there is some prophesy here about the great well-hung white demigod (let me embellish!!) arriving and leading the people to freedom. as it happened, i fit the bill and the throne was mine under one condition. now, one rarely gets the opportunity to rule their own caribbean island nation, so i decided, despite the fact that it was our honeymoon, that sacrificing "kramer" was well worth it. you'd do the same, i imagine. anyhoo, after taking a few nibbles on her still-beating heart, myself and the rebels moved onto the capital. after that asshole aristede left, it's been nothing but goat's milk and and an endless stream of black poontang for me. good times. anyway, i told them if they thought i was white, they should get a load of you (the ladeez giggled knowingly) and i think i can promise you a spot in my cabinet. hope all is well in NYC.

best, "martin"

ps--let "big daddy hotcakes" and "chimpy's boyfriend" know i have minister of information and secretary of defense positions slotted for them.

pps--tell my parents to forget about me. sell banjo.

Viva le revoluçion!