Defending Paris Hilton

Well, looks like we may have the makings of an internal war over the Hiltons (specifically Paris, in my case). I am the man who will fight for her honor. Sure, the sex tape is creepy and unsatisfying. But I would make the case that it is a signpost for the New Sexuality of the New War of the New Century of the New Times that will obliterate the puritanical zealotry that has infested out country since the late '90s (just in time for me to move to Rome, I mean, New York). Paris represents everything your children will be: Neu Sexual Autistics, as in, beings that are beautiful and sexual whilst also utterly emotionally-vaccuous/unavailable. Paris shall be our Hester Prynne, but I will not allow us to be the townfolk.

On a releated note, I have forsaken the reality TV genre for a while now (not counting the disturbing Room Raiders), but Paris' new show, The Simple Life, looks to be the one to bring me back. Here are the clips that piqued my interest. If these affluent, drunk young ladies can balance out their shrieking with the wit they often employ here, it will be causa belli for the Neu Sexual Autistic Revolution.

Join us, brothers and sisters.