My Contribution to Savage Appropriations Day
Below is a partial transcript of a commencement speech Michael Savage recently gave.
(More via : The Greatest Living American Blogger )
MICHAEL SAVAGE ENCOURAGES, RUBS UP AGAINST SENIORS AT COMMENCEMENT
The Donkeypissonian proudly presents the complete text of Michael Savage's remarks to the Donkeypiss College Class of 2003. The Pissonian and commencement committee also deeply regrets harrassing the estate of Gwendolyn Brooks. We now believe that she is dead.
"You have no idea what an honor it is to be here at Donkeypiss College, speaking to the graduating class of 2003. I have long admired the standards of excellence that this fine school has aspired to and met. I joked with President Alegre that I wouldn't speak here today, because I wasn't accepted! But he, um, 'showed me the money' if you will!
"Ahhhh. Where was I? Yes, what an honor it is be here today. It seems only yesterday I was passed out in the back row of my own commencement ceremony. Me and my good buddy, Fishstick, spent the night before doing whip-its and playing cribbage with a lamb. Man, that lamb could drink. I should call that lamb again...shit, she's probably dead. Christ.
"I guess that brings me to my most important point: everything dies. Nothing lasts forever. And for matter, just be glad you're not a gay donut. Fishstick's brother -- he was adopted -- was a gay donut. More importantly, he was a 'top.' Now, don't let Jerry Falwell fool you into thinking that gay people choose to be 'tops' or 'bottoms.' They're born that way, douchebags. And what the fuck is a gay top donut going to do? WHAT?!?! Count yourselves lucky, you little assholes. Having a $35000 student loan debt is a lot better than being a top donut that will never get to fuck anyone in the ass.
"Perhaps more of you will now understand where I'm coming from. So, uh, good luck, class of 2003. You deserve the best. And say 'Hi' to Fishstick for me if any of you make it to the West Wing. Ciao!"
(More via : The Greatest Living American Blogger )
MICHAEL SAVAGE ENCOURAGES, RUBS UP AGAINST SENIORS AT COMMENCEMENT
The Donkeypissonian proudly presents the complete text of Michael Savage's remarks to the Donkeypiss College Class of 2003. The Pissonian and commencement committee also deeply regrets harrassing the estate of Gwendolyn Brooks. We now believe that she is dead.
"You have no idea what an honor it is to be here at Donkeypiss College, speaking to the graduating class of 2003. I have long admired the standards of excellence that this fine school has aspired to and met. I joked with President Alegre that I wouldn't speak here today, because I wasn't accepted! But he, um, 'showed me the money' if you will!
"Ahhhh. Where was I? Yes, what an honor it is be here today. It seems only yesterday I was passed out in the back row of my own commencement ceremony. Me and my good buddy, Fishstick, spent the night before doing whip-its and playing cribbage with a lamb. Man, that lamb could drink. I should call that lamb again...shit, she's probably dead. Christ.
"I guess that brings me to my most important point: everything dies. Nothing lasts forever. And for matter, just be glad you're not a gay donut. Fishstick's brother -- he was adopted -- was a gay donut. More importantly, he was a 'top.' Now, don't let Jerry Falwell fool you into thinking that gay people choose to be 'tops' or 'bottoms.' They're born that way, douchebags. And what the fuck is a gay top donut going to do? WHAT?!?! Count yourselves lucky, you little assholes. Having a $35000 student loan debt is a lot better than being a top donut that will never get to fuck anyone in the ass.
"Perhaps more of you will now understand where I'm coming from. So, uh, good luck, class of 2003. You deserve the best. And say 'Hi' to Fishstick for me if any of you make it to the West Wing. Ciao!"
posted by colin carlson at 2:00 PM
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